Awareness

35 Things Survivors Hear Every Day

1. How did you get yourself in that situation
2. Why didn’t you just leave
3. Why didn’t you fight back
4. Why didn’t you come forward before
5. Why are you saying something different than you said before
6. We can’t tell the difference between mental illness and trauma
7. We don’t know who is telling the truth
8. The accused have rights too
9. Why do you have to go to the internet with it
10. Why didn’t you file a police report
11. Why didn’t you pursue it
12. Why do you keep bringing it up
13. Why can’t you just let go of the past
14. It takes two
15. Can’t you just move on
16. What did YOU do to HIM
17. Well he says different
18. You’re saying things he didn’t say
19. You need to go heal
20. Why don’t you focus on the positive
21. Why are you so negative
22. Why do you keep harping on the past
23. Why didn’t you tell us sooner
24. Why didn’t you trust us
25. Stay out of it
26. Just get over it
27. Keep quiet
28. It’s not a big deal
29. It’s not his fault
30. It’s no one’s fault
31. Stay down
32. Keep your head down
33. Keep quiet
34. Why didn’t you kill him/them
35. I don’t believe you

All things I have heard REPEATEDLY about abuse for decades, the list could go on for infinity. The only appropriate thing to say to an abuse survivor is “It wasn’t your fault.”