Cycles Are Not What You Think
“It’s a generational curse” I have heard so many people say, in judgment while in need, rather than simply “how can I help”? I hear it all the time, I always have, since I was a tiny child. Even though I myself have always been in need, I never denied someone if I was able. Not unless it was unsafe to do so, and that does happen, but not often for me. I generally just see people and help how I can. People rarely ever view me the same way.
When I tell people that my parents were divorced they immediately write me off because, “oh you too, didn’t fix that problem huh?” and you are dismissed. No one stops to consider that my father was a Vietnam Vet who was sprayed with Agent Orange, a biological agent, by the U.S. Government and then denied treatment for it. They don’t stop to consider that my mother went to her actual limit, one that she never recovered from, trying to heal, fix, repair, forgive, aid, and assist. There was nothing for her to do, abuse is not an option. What’s worst, where most people cannot say this, he truly couldn’t help it. His abuser was mine, I know what they did to him in order to control us. He sat on the board of the chemical company, he knew what he was doing to us.
It’s not a cycle that repeats due to a generational curse if the same people are pulling the puppet strings, that’s simply called oppression. But you silenced my father his entire life and he then died, under strange circumstances eerily similar to all of my loved ones who died from 2015 until 2020. He never was able to get his story out, ever. All of his writing was always taken. When I asked my mentor would say “yes, that’s us, we do that so no classified information is leaked” that’s how I grew up. Do you honestly believe that any aspect of our lives was ever our own? Get real, but I’m supposed to pretend like it’s all fake.
No one ever knew who my WHOLE father was, and that was his greatest regret in life. That no one would ever know him, see him, understand him, and if that’s the case could anyone ever love him? He was literally “The Beast” from Beauty and the Beast, and that’s how perceived himself and my mother. He was never able to be seen, known, or truly loved for who he was. He always had too many secrets and he had no control over any of it. I lived the same way my entire life, but I’m supposed to pretend it’s not bad enough to complain about.
I never forgot this lesson, it has always been my promise to myself that I will not allow another generation to pass without our inner lions giving “voice” and “language” to our stories. “Not another generation” is what I have lived. While I witness person after person fall off from death, incarceration, mental illness, physical illness, trauma, manipulation, hate, propaganda, and witch hunts it becomes more obvious that we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. I will, because I’m tired.
Breaking generational patterns is not a task for the faint of heart. When you are truly on this path, most people try to knock you off. People like repetition, in fact, the average person is addicted to it. People hate change, even when they say they want it, they always end up regretting it. The only people who don’t think this way are the oddballs, the outcasts, the free thinkers, the alternative people, the new-age type folk, the not so religious anymore but more spiritual types, the geeks, and nerds, and super smart folks. Those who are not only the outliers but the ones who just chose to deviate from the masses. The empath's and the introverts, the people who know their sun sign, moon sign, north node, and ascendant. The people who know their enneagram and their Meyers-Briggs. The people who know their birth chart and their numerology chart. People who read Fraud and Jung because they knew how one impacted the other. People who meditate because they like the vibe they get on. The people who know they were born for something, they see it, they can touch it, they can taste it, they embrace it. Do or die! Those who know themselves inside and out. The truly blessed, have a soul-mate on the same frequency. I’m talking about people who do not think like the old world in any way shape or form, these people. We are all of the ones looking on and everyone who is confused and we are signaling to all of you! Just listen.
More of us turn up every day and we all have our own unique stories. It’s as if we can all see exactly why each one fits somewhere, and how. It’s like we all know we were born in this time for a reason, and we mean business. You will find us telling the most uncomfortable truths and people hate, you will find us holding the most egregious actions accountable and people hate, you will find us making profound sacrifices for the sake of the masses and people, still, hate. We keep doing it anyway, not because we are ever rewarded but because we clearly see, without any aid, assistance, adjustments, or enhancements that if people like us didn’t exist to do the things that everyone else ignores, then literally this shit would have all fallen apart decades ago! I know, I was right there in the middle of the discussions #DARPA #Reagan #SciencePrograms
America can do better.
