How I Got Sick

It’s not what you think!

I live in, and grew up in, one of the most affluent areas on the planet. I live in a suburb just outside of Washington D.C., within the DMV boundary. I have lived many other places, including overseas. I have travelled all over the world, I have been on every continent. I am not now nor have I ever been wealthy, I had wealthy men who controlled my life. There is a difference.

Being in proximity to wealth and privilege does have benefits, that is why people worship such positions. But I learned at the ages of 4 and 5 that worshiping money, power, people, and shiny toys is warned against in the Bible for a reason. My “fictive father” taught me that I should never worship a hero, they always fall. Those with the shiniest reputations are always the ones hiding the most deceit. He was the man who was paid to raise and fell hero’s at his discretion. I grew up watching him do this at will. There is no reality to anything seen on TV or in social media, it’s all a façade. “Trust me, nothing else is real” he used to say.

He was an extreme narcissist and sexual deviant, obviously he wasn’t trustworthy. He was, however, in the know of what was happening globally. He made mistakes with his own children that he didn’t want to repeat with me, so he told me the truth about everything. Even the one thing everyone thinks he lied about. He always told me the truth because he knew I would see the lie and it would cause me to recoil even in the slightest way. He couldn’t take that. He simply forced me to accept his truth as reality, and he used any means necessary. In his mind he should have been more strict with his own kids, like he was with me. “Would you treat your biological children this way?” I asked him at 5 when he told me I would be abused so severely that I would become disabled in my 40s. “YES! THE BENEFITS OUTWEIGHT THE NEGATIVE!” He would scream. He and his cronies firmly believed the ends justify the means, I told them that they would regret believing that in the end. They never believed me. I was 5 and could see it, why couldn't’ they? I suffered my whole life for it and am totally, permanently, and fully disabled as a result. No one cares.

He told me that I would NEVER receive social security because it was going away. THIS in 1982, everything happening today is a right wing agenda and they hate the fact that I know this and talk about it openly. Should I lie to save a holocaust? I’m not Eva.

When I was 5 years old he trafficked me to an extremely wealthy man. He was in the process of developing a new drug that would help men, particularly older men, and men with sexual dysfunction, achieve sexual satisfaction. We met in his limo, it was huge and very luxurious. He was clearly extremely wealthy, he dressed differently, smelled differently, and spoke differently than every other man I had been around, ever. He was the first of many such men that my “fictive father” would traffic me to. “If you help him, neither of our families will ever have to worry about money ever again” he said. It was true, but he shouldn’t have trafficked me anyway.

At school we were learning Reiki, in the classified research program that he forced me into we were learning Kundalini and Tantra. He was my “partner” or “master” or “teacher” or “Sensei” or whatever name he chose to go by at any given moment. The bottom line is, I was learning things I shouldn’t have been forced to learn at the age of 5. He used torture to force me to comply while telling people “she’s precocious and matures faster than the average child because she is Black”. The truth is he was threatening to keep killing people starting with my family if I didn’t. He used drugs, nazi mind control tactics, hypnosis, laser lights, sonic frequencies, energy weapons, POW torture tactics, water boarding, imprisonment, starvation, extreme temperatures, sensory depravation, psychological terror, hypnosis, trauma bonding, post hypnotic queues, chemicals, sexual sadism, experimental pseudo-science, whatever he wanted to achieve the result he wanted. “I always find a way to make the lie true” he told me. “I always get my way” he raised me with. He did, I have yet to see him denied anything. In fact, I may have been the only person to ever tell him no and maintain my position. If he didn’t come at you with full nuclear assault when denied, he didn’t really want it or he could simply get it elsewhere. But things he truly wanted, needed, or desired, there was no time ever when he was more determined. He was at his strongest when he felt “threatened”. He raised me!

He believed that I belonged to him and he could do with me what he pleased, so he did. No one stopped him. I am totally, completely, and permanently disabled as a result. That wealthy man that he trafficked me to was having difficulty figuring out how to achieve an erection, AND he was a pedophile. “If you do this, he will be able to figure out the obstacle he is having with his chemical formula and this will bring in infinite riches. There are a lot of very important people trying to crack this code”. It was an experiment on the bodies chemical reactions during arousal. They had been experimenting already with my mentor and I so they had learned quite a bit already. However, this wealthy man was not willing to share his formula with anyone and wanted to become a part of the experiment himself not only in the hopes that he could actually achieve an erection, which he had not done in may years, but to also figure out the solution to his formula. It went down in his limo. I was just 5 years old and much like many of the men in those days, he cried like a baby.

Like any other scientific experiment, it had to be replicated. So it was. With different subjects. It always worked. I became known as something other than a little girl, everyone attacked their own meaning. The bottom line is the exploitation was so utterly dehumanizing, combined with the marginalized position that I was already in, they were able to treat me like anything. Even declaring me non human. This is the consequence of hiding the truth, denying facts, ignoring the true scientific method, removing oversight, transparency, and accountability. This is the result of mandates and funding without transparency. This is the result of lies, deceit, manipulation, shadow dockets, black operations and funding. This is the result of dehumanizing people because of a desire to prove a false theory of white supremacy. It is the epitome of systemic oppression, this by definition is the belly of the beast!

know this, I survived it all WTIH my full mind in tact. Sure, it took a long time to come back to myself yet her I am. I know of no other human who has ether experienced all that I have and overcome it, but also lived to tell about it. I am unique! This alone makes me valuable, but the things I know can’t even be quantified. So I’m not staying in hiding, not while an insurgency is tanking the planet and leadership is both clueless AND weak to face it head on. I was raised in hell, demons nursed me, NAZIS DO NOT SCARE ME!

That whole process of being trafficked to that man served many purposes. For my handler, he made not only a wealthy ally, but received entrance into a level of society he had been blocked from because of his “genetics”. In those days if you weren’t a pure WASP you weren’t welcome for anything other than a servant. Unless you were family, but even then you were NOT considered pure blood. THIS is the environment I was raised in. They adopted me like a mascot! A toy! The poor little neuro divergent Black girl that he dragged around, like a show puppy. Some called me an abomination, but usually those were the women. The men saw supply and treated me like such. Interestingly enough, the women claimed I was a threat to them and their children, and told me so every chance they got. But ask yourself this, why on earth would they see a little poor Black girl who is being molested by the men in their life as a threat????? These are the best of the best that the world had to offer! The world can and must do better!

The best they could achieve was further advancing pedophilia, sexual assault, war, mass death, the suppression of consciousness, the hoarding of wealth, and the entire planets resources. It’s time those with the actual knowledge, skills, and abilities took over to clean up the mess these “very fine people” have made in order to save this civilization and advance humanity into a Class I Civilization. They were too afraid to do this, meanwhile there are hoards out there who not only can do it, want to to do, but have spent their lives advancing their consciousness so that when the time arrived they were prepared.

THE WORLD CAN DO BETTER, IT’S TIME WE DO, THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE FOR THE SAKE OF DEVIANCE.

The wealth man achieved his erection, I simply used techniques I had been taught by the “masters” who taught me Tantra, Kundalini, and Reiki. Apparently I had already developed my own unique style that had not been documented before. I was literally just trying to survive the torture. They all exploited my vulnerability, but not all knew that I was being tortured.

The wealthy man was dying, and wanted to experience an orgasm again before he passed on. I got so sick after he molested me that I never fully recovered. I believe that is where I developed Fibromyalgia. It wasn’t just that encounter, it was all of it, but being molested by him was the trigger that changed me permanently. It took decades for me to get diagnosed by mainstream doctors. In classified settings, they taught me about what was happening and how best to manage my conditions.

They were able to get the answers they needed to fix their formula, and his company developed a whole host of drugs, stimulants, and apparatuses to help men achieve and maintain erection. My handler was instrumental in getting the legislation passed to introduce the final products onto the market. EVERYONE involved who wasn't already became multi-millionaires. The wealthy man was already so wealthy that no one knew how much he and his family had, but his wealth obviously compounded. Before he died, he left me a large inheritance. “I told your father that I want you to be well educated and to never have to worry about anything” he told me. “You and your family will never be poor again” he said with a smile. It was sick, but real. My handler took every penny. The only time I was ever able to access MY OWN MONEY was when he used it to take me around the world. Like he was doing me a favor. He spared no expense because a lot of the time, it was my own money he spent. “IT’S NOT FAIR! IT’S TOO EASY FOR YOU!!!” He screamed when he found out about the money. He was actually jealous. Looking back now I see what his problem was, but I couldn't’ understand it then. He was just the devil that I couldn’t get away from.

People didn’t respond to him that way, even when he truly put effort into it. He couldn’t understand why and was envious that I had qualities that made people respond to me differently than they did him. It made him feel inferior, he took it out on me!

He was able to become my “conservator” because he had swindled “guardianship” over me in closed hearings. I was the first person to become a victim of these abusive processes and the he then taught them to his cronies who employed them nationwide. Famous people have been caught up in the same tragedy. I promised I would tell the truth when I could because I NEVER LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND! My karma was attached to his evil, I made a promise to myself that I would clean it all as I go. THIS is the benefit of spiritual beliefs that are liberating rather than dogmatic. They heal!

I was never allowed to participate in any hearings or legal procedures that were happening pertaining to me. I’m not sure that any of my family ever were either, but if they were he still had total control. He and his cronies not only created the Defense industry as it exists now, but they wrote the classifications and ensured that only their own cronies received them. They placed only their cronies in positions of authority globally so that every time they needed anything, they had a network of cronies who were also compromised and beholden to them to comply with requests. Therefore, whenever they needed to usurp the law, all they had to do was refer to their own people. The practice is still alive and kicking today, and the insurgency has control of it! But we’re supposed to pretend like we don’t see.

Once he gained guardianship he was able to gain a conservatorship, still in closed sessions, from there he was able to gain total control over every penny. It was supposed to be turned dover to me at 18, when I drew closer to that age he moved it to 21. Before 21 he made it permanent by claiming that I was mentally unfit. I have lived in extreme poverty my entire life. By the time I was about 24 he told me the money was gone. It’s possible, as soon as he received any lump sum he spent it all immediately. But this was a huge amount of money that continued to compound, I believe he was lying but I have no way of knowing. I never had access to my own money! You will see however, that during those precise times, his money, spending habits, properties, and offshore accounts grew without explanation as to where all the money came from! It wasn’t just my money, he had his own dark money as well. But not as much. Most of what he made in those days came directly from pimping me out in various ways.

I made a deal with his wife. If she would stop him from forcing me to have a little girl that he could molest from the crib, then I would not mention anything she had ever done to me publicly or privately. Also, if she confirmed that he had taken my money when I asked, I would never mention anything that I knew about her. She betrayed me, so she got exposed. I have zero regrets, she is evil just like he was and should be held accountable. If she has dementia, and cant’ be, then she should NOT be sitting on money that belongs to me! Accountability comes in different ways. My children and I still suffer from the crimes they committed against us while they and their children live in luxury, hoarding wealth, as my ENTIRE community is under attack and being eradicated due to ethic cleansing while they claim it’s all fake. I’m not giving anyone free passes! Would you?

For a few years he was required to show me a ledger about what was happening with my money, he stopped that when I was around 7 years old. “I’ll turn you into a cash cow and feed you to my mattress” he told me. So he did. If I didn't’ comply with anything, he withheld sustenance from me and my entire family, threatening my father’s life the whole step of the way. Both my parents had disabling conditions, just like I do, he withheld medical treatment from them by various means, just like the had done with me. But I’m supposed to accept this as my “lot in life” because he is supposed to be “superior”. I’m not now nor have I ever been delusional, I have been surviving what most couldn't.

I grew up having to keep my distance from people because he would use them to blackmail me and hut them if I failed to comply. I have lived this all 46 years. No matter how vile the act, he forced me to comply. When I couldn't or wouldn’t, I had to suffer. Nothing has changed, his minions are not different. He didn’t care, he was privileged, entitled, affluent, and White, that is all anyone ever cared about.

By the time I was seven years old I had received enough education (already completing my bachelors level in education and working on my masters level) and paramilitary training that I could be deployed independently on missions. Was it legal, no, that never stopped him. “I find ways to get around the law” he taught me. Prior to that time, with every mission I went on whatever compensation was awarded went directly to the program or to him. After turning 7 and completing a few missions, I negotiated terms with my other handler. “I am the one doing the work, risking my life, using my mind and body to get the work done. My family and I should not be in poverty, we should be able to benefit from my work like the White children, and they aren't even being raped”. I was always very blunt, they would respect nothing less. They saw apprehension as weakness. If I couldn’t stand ten toes and speak my mind, I would have died. It’s as simple as that. “You will be as strong as any man, I don't’ care what anyone has to say about it and you won’t either. I will make sure of it” they both told me. I am who they made because I had no choice to be anything else. I won’t apologize for who I am. I survived things the strongest men in the world can’t, why should I be hidden away in shame?

When my other handler agreed to allow me to get paid for some of my missions (some were only ever compensated with favors) then I acquired more and more money. These were some of the most lucrative and elite jobs in the world. They required the most advanced and skilled persons. Every mission I did was an elite one, they would allow nothing else. In order to keep the status of being the most elite program, and personnel, they would only take the top jobs! He took all that money too.

Decades of work that most other people couldn't do, let alone know how to, have the skills and training, or access to the clearance, he took it all. Even my education credentials he had redacted. He had yet another closed session where elite White men sat around determining my fate, in my absence, with no one to represent me other than the men raping, torturing, and trafficking me. Human Rights Watch So, no one was ever allowed to protect me, they made sure of it. He ALWAYS made ensured that I was totally, completely, and absolutely dependent upon him with no hope of ever escaping. No one stopped him ever! It got to the point that it was so offensive even to other abusers that they complained. Other operatives saw what was happening sometimes and knew clearly that it was was racist and misogynistic. “HE’S OBSESSED” they used to say. None of them had ever experienced anything remotely like what I did and it pissed them off that someone could. If it can happen to one it can happen to anyone. We’ve recently seen this play out with many others, openly, in the past six years. Including being denied medical care, scapegoating for others crimes, and being left behind in hostile territory to bury evidence.

NOW people are starting to open their eyes to the possibility of such exploitation even at the level where no one believes such things can take place. That’s naïve. Corruption is EVERYWHERE and effects EVERYONE, so does oppression. Being a target of someone else’s corruption doesn’t make anyone less than, other than the predator that is.

There have always been people who were very well aware of everything happening to me. Agency personnel, judges, congressman, senators, and wealthy investors. There has always been opportunity to intervene, people consistently choose not to because “Blackness” is not even seen as human in America let alone equal to a White man. “AS LONG AS I LIVE I WILL NEVER LET YOU BE EQUAL TO A WHITE MAN, TO A WHITE BOY” is what the senator who was head of the oversight committed said about me in front of my cohort while visiting our class, shortly before I graduated and they voted to redact my credentials so that I couldn't “never personally benefit” from my own work. They always found a way to usurp the law, nothing has changed until this day. They literally voted to enslave me, and it worked. That was the 1980s, not the 1780s. It’s 2021 and I am still enslaved, nothing has changed other than the fact that I am now so triggered that there will NEVER be any turning back from here. That’s what traumatizing my children did, opened Pandora’s Box and it will NEVER close!

That was just the first two decades of my life. I still have another 2.5 decades for which I am owed payment for. So, why won’t the United States government honor my contract? If you won’t honor the full contract then at the very least PAY ME WAHT I AM OWED AND UNDREDACT MY EDUTAION SO THAT I CAN SURVIVE!!! Why wouldn’t you do this????? U.S. Department of State The White House Progressive Caucus Congressional Black Caucus Library of Congress TIME Nat Geo Explorers United Nations UNICEF UN Human Rights UN Women

The last thing I want is to have to depend on anyone, for anything. Pay me what I am owed, what I earned, what you are contractually obligated to pay so that I can provide for myself and my family during this denied holocaust. I’m certainly not going to stop demanding what I am owed simply because unethical people don't want to get caught committing crimes. That’s not how I was raised, trained, or educated. That’s not what Pandora is designed to do.

I MATTER even if people want to pretend that no Black person does. Attacking me and my family won’t stop me, it fuels me.

HONOR MY CONTRACT so I can pay for my own medical recovery, housing, food, and everything else my family and I need! I’m not your slave nor am I your welfare queen. I don’t care how many sick, entitled men attempt try to paint me in that light. It’s NEVER been who I am! I am the one who obtained the tech you needed to build what became the digital technological boom. See DARPA and CIA files on the Congo mission his team lead in 1981. I did it on my own, they simply provided transport and tech support.

I am the one who was put in the head of a missile and shot into space, alone, as a tiny child, and saw what no other had EVER seen before! See DARPA and CIA files on the dark side of the moon, 1981.

I am the one who successfully traveled places no one else has, documented things that had never been documented before, and helped the U.S. launch a new space race and tech race all before I made it out of 4th grade. See DARPA’s and the CIA’s files on the Star Wars program.

I have seen what NO OTHER HUMAN HAS, reference DARPA and CIA files on Project Grill Flame, 1981.

I am the one who was able to master the tech placed inside of me, unlike anyone else had ever done before. Not even my biological father, who himself was a work of art in so many ways. See DARPA files on chip implants and ask yourself why there is a “chip shortage” suddenly!!!!!

I am the one who understood, reverse engineered, and discovered things no other human has ever done before leading to entirely new fields of science that before me were only theoretical. STOP PRETENDIGN I AM NOT WHO I AM. STOP HIDING BLACK PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO UPHOLD WHITE SUPREMACY! If it weren’t for me, Americans would be speaking Russian right now! DON’T EVER FORGET THAT! Because I certainly won’t, nor will I let you!

I could spend the rest of my life talking about my missions, publicly, and never scratch the surface. But no one wants that, so go ahead and pay me so my family and I can get on with our lives in peace. Remember who trained me, and what they trained me to do, before I was anything I was a a soldier. I don’t wave white flags, I don’t commit treason, I have never failed a mission, I never leave any one behind, and I never behave unethically. Let’s not pretend that this can’t get ugly. Pandora is only just now beginning to open. Remember that!

The worst thing you ever could have done was attack my children. The worst thing you ever could have done was slander me. The worst thing you ever could have done was sack the Capital! I will spend the rest of my days exposing this insurgency! No one knows what I do, most of the time he and I were the only two people who did. “Take over for me” is what they both trained me to do . I don’t need anyone's permission, I am who I am and truth is all I need to expose everything! “It only takes one” they both told me. Just because you don't want to believe doesn’t make it untrue. The truth will always be!

My “fictive father” couldn't understand the concept of time in a non linear way. I had to teach him, though he grasped the theory. He couldn't apply the principles conceptionally, in real time. I’ve done it all my life! I see things no one has EVER seen before! YOU WON’T KEEP HARMING ME! I already know what is. You’re still busy trying to catch up to me. Stop playing with my family. Life isn’t a game to me therefore I am not playing.

PAY ME!