I’m Real
Poem
The threats on his life
For loving me
Have always been present
He won’t admit it openly
So I will
Since before he met me
He has been threatened
Abused
Targeted
Puppeteered
He has been abused severely
For loving me
My skin
My commitment
My mind
My courage
My strength
My light
My abilities
My gifts
They are envious
Now he is
He’s obsessed because
He put so much into this
YES he has given a lot to me
Not the material
In the way of feeding into
My Mission
Yes he did
From the beginning
But it wasn’t enough
I tried to help lift him
He didn’t listen
He was too busy chasing chicken
I never asked for the material
Unless it was life or death
Three times I asked him to fulfill
His contract
Which means
PAYING MY FUCKING MONEY BACK
At least some of it
He talked shit and left me for dead
Repeatedly
I asked for loyalty
Even in the face of extremes
He fulfilled SOME until the end
Breadcrumbing
Slandering
Abusing
Even with all his tantrums
Where he failed
Lies he refused to clean
Disrespect he refused to clean
Thievery he refused to clean
Slander he refused to clean
Trauma he refused to heal
Harm he refused to fix
Scales he refused to balance
Sloppy seconds, thirds, fourth, fifth…
He refuses to clean
He refused to heal
Afraid he would lose this attachment
Afraid he would miss out on something
He would rather have hell and
A backdoor hack
Into my essence
Than nothing with me
He would rather be dead
Me with him
He prefers control and obsession
To authenticity
Childish AF
I have no time for that
He blames me for loving me
He blames me for not being able
To overcome any of it
He blames me for his actions
His weakness
His abuse
His self loathing
His uncontrollable lust and attachment
His inability to escape his problems
His inability to control his situation
His inability to even manage a relationship
His inability to tame his addictions
His inability to detach from filth
His inability to do business adequately
His inability to be real
He’s unstable in every way
Always has been
That’s why EVERYTHING around him
Is the same
I have NO connection with any of it
I never will
So Be It
