You want the ‘right’ to trample all over all of my rights because you believe a delusion. You believe that if I don’t believe the delusion then I am “mentally unstable” and that makes you “superior”. Delusional people can always come up with a way to proclaim themselves superior, hence the reason they are delusional. If you could guide your way out of it yourself, you would have already. Delusions are actually very difficult and uncomfortable to maintain at times, but when the whole world is telling you that your perception is wrong, and you still can’t push past the cognitive dissonance then maybe this goes deeper than just your own personal delusion.
Delusional people don’t look for solutions, they look for evidence of proof that their delusions are real. Mentally stable people, or people searching for stability, look for evidence of stability and instability then adjust accordingly. In other words, stable or stabilizing people look for solutions because they don’t want to be attached to a fantasy. Clear balance and attachment to reality are present but also a focused intention for someone interested in maintaining a grip on reality when so many have lost theirs. Delusional people are lacking in these capabilities, the mechanisms of delusion and cognitive dissonance keep people trapped in a mental prison that they feel powerless to break away from. Even when they know how something still holds them back.
It’s literally a form of mind control, but we’re not supposed to talk about it. We’re supposed to ignore this reality and pretend we see nothing other than the smokescreen and the narrative of the gaslight. It’s literally why my abuser was wealthy, it’s the “system” he was paid very well with public funds, to put into place. He exploited weaknesses, blind spots, ego, apathy, empathy, any human trait because he was completely devoid of conscience and nothing would stop him from getting what he wanted. He was rewarded with children, unlimited children to exploit. “It’s too good of an opportunity to turn down” he used to tell me. He was very open with me because it made the torture more exciting to him, he craved surrender. With the system he had in place, he could have it forever then will me to someone else when he’s done. But I’m the “sick” one for bringing the truth to light??? Interesting take on life.
This is the unreasonable expectation of being Black in America, and almost everyone adheres to the delusion, even other marginalized people. Everyone is afraid to voice anything unless you are of the protected class or an adjacent “population” that aids in their oppression somehow. For instance how many in Silicon Valley saw what was happening during the insurgency and did nothing? “We just didn’t care enough” is what some of those involved have said. It wasn’t until they became affected, their own families, communities, organizations, belief systems, and resources were targeted. Then “oh, we see it now, we apologize”. I’m glad the truth was finally seen, but we shouldn’t have to suffer in a holocaust for you to recognize our humanity.
Obviously, the Capitalist Plutocracy has nothing to do with Democracy, diversity, or equality regardless of how much they claim it exists. We’re just not supposed to see past the gaslight and if we do we become targets of open warfare, and America has done nothing to protect us. “Go back to basics” is what we are told from leadership as all wealth is consistently transferred to the wealthy. If we speak out about what is happening then we are “divisive”, guilty of “hate speech,” and targeted for not being able to be manipulated by propaganda. If we speak out about it then we are “guilty” of whatever crime they want to attach to us, if we committed one or not. The consequences follow us our entire lives.
Perhaps the 22% of us before COIVD who struggled are all just like me, those of us who refuse to submit to abuse, so it never ends. Perhaps we aren’t inferior, divisive, hate-mongers, or too afraid to help ourselves. Perhaps the truth is that those who actually are all of those things, are given free rein to bully us, and we’re tired of dealing with the bullying. Simply saying “I don’t believe you,” doesn’t make abuse end, it doesn’t magically disappear because you deny its reality or erroneously blame the target of the crime for the crime. It also doesn’t make the target of abuse safe, and it never will, the opposite is true. It maintains the abusive system and those who are powerful are elevated while the vulnerable are further marginalized, refusing to see this truth makes you complicit.
My abuser was so obsessed with “breaking” me and people like me that he bought vacation homes expressly for that purpose. Spending his time, energy, and effort on making sure I was broken was how he recharged himself. He knew he was playing with the “dark side”, he loved it! If YOU had to contend with conditions such as these, you would struggle to. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, the people who should feel ashamed are those who refuse to tell the truth. Those who refuse to help when it’s their job to do so, those who refuse to speak up about abuse when they see it, those that not only ignore it but participate, aid, enable, assist, those too are just as guilty.
He liked to channel energy, he understood that time is relative and not at all linear. All time happened at once, at the beginning of the big bang. We spend lifetimes circling that energy, that proverbial garden of potentiality. Quantum physicists, M-Theory, and Super String Theory scientists spend lifetimes trying to understand, draw parallels to, and create theories that prove or disprove these very ideas. Some of us just live it, we all have a role to play. He knew this and he manipulated the information, circumstances, and people to ensure that his own agenda remained at the forefront of all that is leading humanity. He couldn’t understand the science, that’s what he used us for. So why should he be in charge? “Because I was given the authority to do it. Because I was born for this.” He truly believed he was born to dominate because he was superior, he fully believed he deserved the right to rape, maim, pillage, bully, and murdere. He taught people that behaving this way is “superior” and the weak ones belived. He put all of his resources into creating this chaotic version of the world so that no one would notice who he really was. An insane pervert with no self-control. No one noticed, no one cared. He got away with it because he knew how many selfish, gluttonous, egotistical people would be so willing to scapegoat me instead of holding him accountable. “Everyone has a price” he used to say. Mine ended up being more than he could afford.
As humans, we simply slip in and of the powerful energy of our cosmic garden of all time, space, and energy. We move through life experiencing potentialities available to us based on options, choices, and variables. It’s all energy play, but the more conscious we are of it the more we do in the 3D world. We have to make sure WE have control over this information and process” he always said. “WE” meant people who looked like him, talked like him, thought like him, and behaved like him. “If you were meant to have power you would have been born with it” he used to say. “But Ghengis Khan is your idol and he wasn’t born with it” I would point out. In fact, he was born into enslavement much like he made sure that I was. “He’s more like me than you” and that scared him. It should have if was a warning sign to him that I was born to show himself to him. To hold a mirror up to his ego, all I ever had to do was speak the truth and he was chagned. I did it all my life, that’s why he called me his cryptonite. He couldn’t resist, he couldn’t control himself, he couldn’t say no regardless of how deviant he was, and he couldn’t tell himself the truth about any of it. But I’m the one who is “unstable”? You people helped him even up until he drew his last breath, and even now that he is dead and you have no reason to, you sill carry on as he desired it to be. But I’m the delusional one for fighting back? smh
Being able to see the unseen, and causing it to be. THIS is the true meaning of manifesting, it has nothing to do with buying anything. But as long as he had the world confused, searching for the wrong things, groping around in the dark. Feeding the very system that keeps everyone enslaved rather than looking into how to break free from the toxic system or dismantle it, was the whole agenda. They only needed time and they needed the masses distracted while they completed their plans. Which they have, those left behind are the ones they chose to clean up the mess.
“They will never see the truth until it’s too late” he always said. But I’m the delusional one because I always saw it? Even he had to admit, repeatedly, that I was right all along. Even in the end, he had to admit “you were always my equal, I just couldn’t see it.” That’s a hard thing for a bigot to do, he still got his just rewards even if the 3D world didn’t see it. He suffered, all by his own hands, and his of his own making. Exactly what he said the result of my life was, he suffered and died in the same way that he tortured me. When he needed me, I wasn’t there, why because “I didn’t believe him”. I knew he was suffering, and I offered options of healing. He declined everyone. There is nothing more to say, make amends, clean up your mess, pay what you owe, stop harming children, people, tell the truth. He wanted nothing to do with any of it. But I’m the “sick” one???
He always wanted all treasure for himself, “if it comes from the universe then it belongs to the most powerful people, the most advanced people, that’s why we have control!” that’s what he and his cronies always used to tell me. They believed that domination and control made them superior, in actuality they were psychopaths wrapped in a self-created delusion and scapegoating the targets of their crimes the whole step of the way. The fact that they had so much power and so many victims doesn’t excuse or negate the crime, “too big to fail” was his baby. It was literally his “golden parachute” DECADES before he needed himself, but made a lot of money selling the concept to his cronies. But I’m supposed to act like it’s not real?
What he and his argued in closed courts, shadow dockets, closed sessions, closed meetings, and classified committees are literally what became the tools for the world we now live in. Black people never had access to the tables in those rooms, we never have. Yet we are forced to live the consequences of the abuse and human rights exploitations that result. I was only ever a child, or a teen, battling for recognition of our rights. They were an entire machine with unlimited reach and power, specifically designed to oppress me and my entire race. “Manifest it” is all they ever told me. They were like monkeys trying to understand concepts far beyond their comprehension and using it as an excuse to abuse marginalized people whom they deem “threatening” because they are xenophobic. But I’m supposed to believe that I am inferior because I can’t be gaslit and I deserve the “treatment” I get for refusing to be “compliant” with my own abuse? Life in Black America, and no one cares.
“I hope you get it together, sending you light!” That’s what people say. If you knew the light, then you wouldn’t say ignorant things that harm people and scapegoat them for what your own people have systematically done to the world. It seems harmless, but in actuality, it’s literally victim-blaming. Crimes of moral turpitude or the only ones where the victim is allowed to be treated like the criminal and the crimes are only alleged rather than “evidence sufficient” enough to charge. He turned a very toxic judicial system upside down then complained bout how dysfunctional it was. He’s the kind of person that would steal my money then pretend to help me look for it “we don’t know where it went” he would say. “I’m going to find out what they did with your money!” He would say, he was so full of shit, and everyone around him was too. He knew it, he exploited it, and that’s why he got away with no accountability. No one would hold his feet to the fire, except me. But I’m the “monster” for doing so? He’s a genocidal war criminal who raped and pillaged for more than most modern known war criminals. He was prolific, and he gaslit the world as he did it. He’s legendary, for all the wrong reasons, and he knew it. It was his agenda. To him, it’s all energy that he can use to further be a “God” in this life and the next. The man’s plans always came to fruition, for better or worst, they always happened. What we see as failure, he saw as success. None of them cared about collateral damage, ever. They cared only about their agenda, to them we were all dead already, and it was only 1979.
It’s way deeper than what anyone chooses to look at, obviously. Those tasked with the job are more worried about making money and securing themselves and their cronies, that’s how the system works. They believe it ALL belongs to them, they brainwashed the most vulnerable, and now they have what they need to occupy everything, indefinitely. America loves forever wars, this is the one on U.S. soil that they refuse to acknowledge. “We will fight for you, we will never stop fighting for you,” the extremist leaders say. That literally means, more Black death, and no one cares.
Millions are sick and dying, the planet is collapsing, people are suffering in ways that humanity has never suffered before and you think this is happening because I have negative thinking? THAT IS HOW POWERFUL THE DELUSION IS IN AMERICA! And leadership, instead of doing their job to protect the people AND the land, are instead robbing the treasury and creating more laws to make it impossible for us to defend ourselves during a holocaust. No one cares.
You hope that I accept your delusion for reality, while I hope you learn to overcome your cognitive dissonance and accept reality for what it is not what you were told it is. I hope that you wake up and tap in so that you don’t contribute to the mass suffering that you are scapegoating onto the targets of genocide. I hope that everyone learns how to look at a human being and simply see a human being, not the projection of who they think they are based on bias and bigotry.
My handler understood how to manipulate people, places, things, perceptions, reality, and future events. He was the master of it, that was his expertise. He was unmatched, that’s why he got away with everything. “You can’t judge me, you would have to be my equal” is a phrase that he learned from the elite and powerful, it has extensive historic references, he taught it to me. “You can’t be my equal unless you have walked in my shoes” is what he raised me to believe. “How can you judge me for what you yourself have never accomplished, faced, overcome, achieved, managed”. That’s how he raised me. “You will never be my equal, I will make sure of it”. That’s how he raised me. But not just himself, everyone he placed in my life. It was 46 years of being brutally tortured, scapegoated for the abuse, then repeatedly forced to adhere to activities that maintain the system of abuse rather than provide for my escape from it or any form of safety. It may have taken me 45 years but I fought my way free, now trapped by the consequences of not only enslavement but the fight to get free.
He made sure that this is how he always treated me, like a trapped, and vulnerable person who had no option but to obey him and his agenda. The world was happy to oblige a wealthy, elite man with unlimited resources and full immunity who was born “right”. People with no morals or values will side with what appears to be “power” every time, he manipulates every human instinctual weakness and humans never even notice.
It was what he was paid to do. He knew well how to scapegoat me within a system that was designed to destroy all people just like me. He knew well how to keep me trapped, enslaved, and abused for a lifetime. All while people are constantly telling me “that’s so sad, you need to fix your energy” as if they have any idea what they are saying. But they believe, and their beliefs become reality for marginalized people.
He was trying to figure out how to make his power last longer, and everyone who helped him helped his megalomaniacal agenda. Self-proclaimed “God’s” need their “servants” in the “afterlife”. A real God needs no one, the “servants” only need an opportunity to escape.
He was angry because he couldn’t break me, no matter how hard he tried. I didn’t become him. He couldn’t force me to be like him. He couldn’t tear me down to nothing regardless of how much he tortured me. He was angry that EVERY time he abused me I proved that you do not have to become evil, that is not the natural consequence of anything, it’s a choice. He thought if he exploited me the way that he was exploited, that I would become ruthless like him. Instead, I became ruthless like myself. I don’t choose to abuse, but I will defend myself, those I love, and what I love unapologetically as I have every right to do. He could only convince the world that I am what HE says I am, but he couldn’t mold me into that. He believed that if he was a true God that he could bend anyone to his will, I was the only one he couldn’t do that to regardless of how hard he tried.
If the world is clueless enough to believe him, that’s actually not my problem. My biggest goal is to survive what he meant for my downfall. To think that he did so much just so that he could prove a sick point about what he perceived to be the “superiority” of the abuse of power. My job is to fulfill my own destiny, period. I will always fight against abuse, tyranny, and injustice. He didn’t stop my destiny, he didn’t “breed” it out of me like he always said he would. He didn’t “beat” it out of me like he always said he would. He didn’t force me to “comply” like he always said he would. He just spent decades raping, torturing, and abusing a vulnerable and marginalized person, trying to break me. He failed.
Moving forward, standing in my truth, determined to be free and to get what I am owed! Those are my goals! I did the work, pay me what belongs to me. There is truly no excuse as to why you wouldn’t, other than, you are just like him too. United Nations The White House