My First Gyno
The first time I saw a physician outside of the classified military setting that my handler controlled, I was nine years old. He was in the process of rolling out changes to health care on a mass scale, this is shortly before it became a for-profit system. That was he and his cronies doing. It wasn’t just that reason though, they were installing a network of medical personnel nationally who were loyal to them, obedient to their direction. People who were willing to do things like violate HIPPA, protect abusers, manipulate medical files, fail to report under mandated reporting conditions, and disbelieve patients particularly victims of abuse while supporting the “rights” of perpetrators.
The doctor knew immediately that I was being abused. I was nine years old. Instead of him being concerned with my safety he got angry “WHO ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH!” I was shocked to see a doctor speak this way to a child after discovering obvious signs of abuse. This doctor was my mentor's asset, however, so I knew not to expect humanity. “I’m not sleeping with anyone, I’m a child. The age of consent is 16, I am being abused”. He looked shocked, looking back on it I think he was more shocked that I was articulate than anything else. “I want to know who it is!” He demanded very angrily. “People like you are always getting yourselves into trouble and it’s people like us who have to deal with it”. He meant Black children are problems that White men have to fix. “I didn’t get myself into anything, I have been forced all of my life,” I said. “When you say things like that it puts me in a position of having to report this to CPS, I could have cops and social workers in her with one phone call and you will never see your family again. Likely they will end up in jail for allowing this.” Is what he said, does that sound like something a doctor should say to a child whom he has just discovered has been abused??? “You can do what you feel like you need to do. But I have told you the truth”. That’s pretty much been my standard reply to everyone who calls me a liar knowing that I am telling the truth.
“Tell me who it is now or I’m calling the police”. My handler had made it abundantly clear that if police ever became involved in my life in ways other than he intended, he would come down on me with the full force of his anger. “I am no longer in the situation where I was being abused. My mother moved away and we live somewhere else now. My circumstances have changed. Also, I know how to protect myself now and I can fight back when I couldn't before”. While my statements were true, they weren’t entirely true. I was still being molested but I was forced to protect my molesters or have my family killed and end up God knows where. What would you do? My family has always been terrible to me, but the devil you know is always better than the one you don’t.
Though I had the kind of bladder infection that could only occur from sexual abuse, nothing happened. He walked out of the room, called my handler, gave him the run down, came back in, and changed his tone. I could tell he felt sorry for me but he was also very inappropriately intrigued. My vaginal examination then followed. This has been my life. There has been no aspect of it that has not been micro-managed by my controllers. An adult would want to file charges for this happening, but a child is powerless.
He wouldn't allow anyone in the room with me, you can understand why. Nothing ever happened to him, nothing negative anyway. He was rewarded by my handler, his practice grew exponentially, he went from making six figures to ten overnight. He had plenty of incentive to keep his mouth shut and do what he wanted, so he did. This is how the system works, when you benefit from their agenda you are heavily rewarded. When you buck the system, you are severely punished. It’s 10.6.21 and I continue to live the consequences of it. My medical records have never been my own, my health continues to decline because of it. But I’m supposed to pretend that I am delusional, unstable, and fake so that abusers and their accomplices can escape accountability. I was never that person, weakness is not in my DNA!
As long as I remain in the circumstances designed by my abusers, I will continue to purge. UN Women
