Other People’s Feelings
All of my life I was told to censor my words, actions, and thoughts so that other people are not “offended” or “hurt” by me. So I have. All of my life I have been abused. Those same people I have been instructed to tiptoe around are the same people ignoring my feelings, the outcome of their behaviors on my life, and the amount of work it takes for me to clean up the mess.
Why is the onus of responsibility always on the target of abuse rather than the abuser? This is wrong, it always has been and it always will be. I am the one who is systematically being destroyed, but you want me to temper my reaction to the destruction to fit other people's expectations? That too is abuse. DO YOU NOT SEE THE TOXICITY IN THIS?
It’s obviously time that my own needs came before those of others. There is nothing wrong with this, it’s healthy and appropriate. If I were in a position to do it before now I would have. If I don’t match up to your expectations then continue to ignore me, that strategy works for both of us.
When I am abused it’s always my own responsibility to deal with the fallout regardless of how egregious. Why is it not your responsibility to deal with your own reactions, thoughts, and feelings to what I say and do to protect myself? This is the kind of behavior that feeds the beast that is systemic oppression!
If you have done nothing wrong to me hen your life has nothing to do with me! If you have wronged me those uncomfortable reactions you feel are called accountability. Just like I have to deal with the fall-out of the chaos you create in my life, you have to deal with whatever “feelings” you have as a result of me telling the truth.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month btw. It’s supposed to be our time to talk about what we have been through. Not to censor ourselves to accommodate others who want to remain in cognitive dissonance. I’m fighting for my life and the lives of my children, I don’t have time to focus on your preference of communication styles. I have to survive.
