Particle Waves

Poem

It’s not complicated

I helped you build an empire

From nothing

Using my own resources

Because I cared

Because I have a mission

Because I was forced to be there

Because I made the best of it

But the agreement was always

Legit

Even if you’re afraid of it

What’s sealed in the ethers

Must be made manifest

As above

So below

The universe has a higher order

I walk in alignment with it

When I call

Return the favor

Your promise is binding

Even if you fear the fact

You’re not confused

About what you did

You’re selfish

Controlling

Under mind control

Walking blind

That’s why I won’t bring you near

Giving to others

In the light

While spitting all over me

In the darkness

You have work to do

So do it

After all my loyalty and

Unconditional love for decades

This is just sick

Fix it

But you haven’t

You sit on the truth

You sit on my money

You sit on my freedom

You sit on my intellectual property

Cockblocking

Consuming me

Like I was born to be your agenda

But you wonder

Why I won’t bring you near

When you had nothing

To provide me

Not even kindness

Get over yourself

Be a better man

I provided all you needed

You provided me pain

I protected all we invested in

You spent it all on the shallow

I secured the ultimate for you

You left me abandoned while tortured

In essence

I was the masculine

You were the female

Not because I wanted it

Not because I demanded it

Because you had nothing

So I gave from my everything

To balance scales

To build you into the man

You are today

I have a mission

An anointing

Even when you fail to fulfill you end

I still move ahead

Proof left in my footsteps

In time I walk ahead

Yet when I ask for help

You aren’t there

Worse still

You talk bad

You embarrass me

You drag me in the open

You throw tantrums

You block my freedom of movement

You accuse me of things I don’t do

You scapegoat me for your actions

You withhold what you owe me

You claim I made it up in my head

You protect all those harming me

Then expect to crawl into my bed

Controlling

Dominating

Abusing

Neglecting

Abandoning

Then you cry foul

Wait don’t leave

I need your help

What need of mine have you met?

When you don’t see me losing it

Because you want to control all I am

You escalate the abuse

Claiming I’m sick because I deserve it

You want me at my worst

So you can have things your way

All times

Daily

As if I am beneath you

Because this is where you placed me

All things DR did and said

So tell me

How are you different?

All to hide YOUR predation

Rather than honoring your contract

You rush in to participate

In torture and madness

While I cry myself to sleep

Screaming in pain

Alone

Because torture has consequences

You still come in to take

Giving nothing

Allowing your WIFE, mistresses

Do for now temptresses and anyhows

One night stands

Friends with benefits

Anything else you want your wand in

Friends

Family

Devotees

Assets

To target me

While I fight through a pandemic

A coup, a human trafficking ring

My own government, foreign hostiles

Paramilitaries, militias, pedophiles, Rapists, racists, zealots

All on my own

No access to income

No access to tech

No access to support, aid, medical care

Not even public assistance

No access to my own money

No access to security

No access to friends or fam

Just me on my own

With The Most Dangerous men

In The Most Dangerous game

Hunted like an animal

Raped regularly

Tortured sadistically

Yet somehow I wronged you

When you could have helped me?

While I attempt to survive

Constant attacks

You left me for dead

Worse still

You helped

Yet you still come in

For attention

For supply

For whatever you can get

You can’t get tantric on your own

You need me for that

You keep me pinned down

So I can’t escape your trap

You take all you want

Consuming all that I am

Assuming I deserve this treatment

Cruelty requires dehumanization

You take from me

Then give to someone else

You follow society

Who misleads

Then adhere though it’s toxic

You tap my mind

Because you know I have answers

Yet you keep me in chains

So I can’t benefit

As you have now been seen

For the liar and grifter you are

Behind your mask

Now you’re terrified

And want to come home

Yet you obviously went too far

Still after all of it

You refuse to pay your debt

Play your part

You still scapegoat me

Expecting me to bow

You obviously don’t know me

I would rather die from torture

Than to submit to a farse

You made an agreement

Fulfill your contract

From now on if you need me

Pay me upfront for my time

Don’t act like you don’t deserve this

You deserve much worse

But I’m on a mission

You’re a distraction

The more who heal

The more my problems go

Don’t mistake me for a fool

A tool

The moon

Or the sun

I’m a whole frequency all on my own

You’re merely drinking

A few of my particles

Be glad I dropped seeds

And you now you can see them grow