What Was Once
A New Trail Of Tears Installment
As my rights
And life
Dwindle away
At the hands of torturers
With no boundaries
No accountability
No checks & balances
Regardless of alarm bells
Just like every day
For 47 years
The torture keeps coming
“We’re so tired
Of their fake whining”
That’s what oppressors say
That their actions
And subsequent consequences aren’t real
Because they say
We live like this
Generation to geration
Denied the ability
To even argue the point
That our rights matter
I’m already on my last leg
Arguing for my last breath
Isn’t an option
“Which one do you want
An arm or a leg”
They ask me
Before they attack my existence
“Want to stop a n*****
We get ’em in the crib”
They say
Generation after generation
It’s not even a hidden secret
The men who abused me
Taught me that
“You are a slave
You were born for that”
At 5 years old
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to turn
You learn to survive
Escape became an unwinnable game
So I was always prepared to spend my last
Go figure
The enslaved girl
The slaved out girl
The girl who worked
To build wealth for her torturers
Ended up being an actual soldier
Who outmaneuvered in ways
The world couldn’t have done
They tried and failed
I tried and won
“Yes, but how long will you keep it”
They bragged
“What matters is that I accomplished it”
What matters is how I was trained
But abusers don’t like it
When you hit them with their own toxic mess
It’s simply how they all live
We’re supposed to accept it
Would you?
Would that make me alive if I did?
Not in my opinion
Freedom is the reason we exist
Liberty the blessing we are given
For fighting for it’s preciousness
Democracy the ideal placed on paper
Older than America for sure
The 42 Laws of Ma’at
Are from where we get such understanding
Yet you won’t hear of such wisdom in The West
Their history began within the last 6000 years
My history began with the formation of this dimension
You can see how this would be confusing then
I see life on spectrums
Most delusional humans can’t fathom
Should I be eradicated for it?
Because I have melanin?
NO!
So if I have no protection
Liberty
Democracy
Equality
Equity
Access to justice
Aid, relief
Restoration for harm done
Or protection for humanity
Let me document what’s happening
Let me emote
Let me evoke my ancestors
As I join them
It’s not an ask
I am simply communicating a statement
On this ancient
Yet tethering experience
Before I was anything
I was a soldier
I go down fighting
‘Till my last breath
I will fight for what I know
Is my birth right
LIFE IS A RIGHT
YOU SHALL NOT TAKE
WHAT MY CREATOR GAVE
If this is my last
It will be taken with full knowledge
Awareness
Consciousness
That I Am
As I Am
No man can change that fact
47 years of torture
Should have proven that
Yet here we remain
I am grateful for this moment
To document the truth
Regardless of what you think
I Am
I Am seen
Heard
Embraced
Loved
Accepted
Respected
Appreciated
My memory lives on
Indefinite
I am where I started
I have looped my own timeline
I’m not the one under any spell
Or behind a
Wall of confusion
I’m the one knocking down bricks in the wall
Because life taught me
If there is an obstacle
Remove it
While my body is ravaged by abuse
Misuse
Torture
Disease
Disability
My mind thrives
I keep moving forward
Utilizing my training
What would you do
Cave to abuse, thievery, rape, crimes against humanity?
Not me
My oath and ethics mean everything
In every way
“You’ll be paralyzed by the time you’re 40”
The abuser told me
He just didn’t bother to describe to me
His meaning of paralysis
So here I sit
“Protect your back he said”
What a threat
So here I sit
Though I have maintained my oath
Religiously
Here I sit
No resources
No justice
No repairing of the harm done
Regardless of the extent of the insidiousness
Of its traumatic reach
So here I sit
Pursuing justice the ONLY way I can
Through the release of all that is ailing me
Words in statements
The expression of my experiences
The last remnants of who I used to be
While I Am
Human
I Am surrounded by
Other entities and principalities
Existing under a president
Who tells us we have NO CHOICE
But to obey
“Under obligation” regardless of their crimes
Against me
Personally
Repeatedly
Throughout the decades
I am “obligated”
By oath
Even as a civilian
Until my last breath
THEY control if I breathe
Or not
When that last breath is taken
Is their decision
But I’m supposed to be okay with that?
I never volunteered
I was conscripted
Before 18
Not exactly legal
No is it?
“She exists to serve at my leisure”
“She exists to serve at my pleasure”
I EXIST BECAUSE I’M HUMAN
IF YOU BELIEVED OTHERWISE
YOU AREN’T THAT SMART THEN!
I won’t subscribe
To the kind of sickness
That kills those without the training
To survive it’s attack
The measure by which a warrior is judged
Depends on the battles which draw them in
The Art Of War by age 7 was no option
It was a command
I eat, sleep, breathe, live it’s tenets
That’s what The West wanted
Warriors without end
Now you have it and are scared
GET OVER IT!
Here I sit
May having died
From just one of the situations
I have repeatedly curved
So here I sit
Still in my skin
Able to walk
Yet unable to go anywhere
Suffocating from the disease
Of them men who took life from me
In greed
Lust
Hoarding consumerisms
The West is a disgusting beast
Who says it’s okay?
Pun intended
We have an entire administration
That says our sacrifice means nothing
Compared to extremists
But expect our vote anyway
Doing as they please
On every continent
I’m expected to remain silent
To feign ignorance
I refuse
My ability to type words
Comes and goes
But when it comes
I lean into it
So many sick people
Sitting around making excuses
And decisions
About what my life is to be
This didn’t begin with COVID
It began when Europeans entered my aboriginal lands
Slaughtering along the way
What I Am experiencing
Is called apartheid
I am held captive on my own indigenous lands
My ancestral history illegal
Yet I live
So
Here I sit
Yet I am ALWAYS left with the consequences
Of “western” predation
Constant whining and complaining
From the oppressor
Complaining that I fight back
“Why, why, why”
They complain
“Stop asking why I’m so tired of hearing that”
As if I should prioritize the deviant urges of a psychopath
Over my own existence
THAT is privilege
They live it daily
Expecting me to submit
Would you?
Why?
Do I exist?
BECAUSE I AM HUMAN.
SAD YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE
SUCH OBVIOUSLY BASIC HUMAN FACTS.
Why can’t you evolve enough to answer that yourself
I AM NOT THE PROJECTION
OF YOUR ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
STOP MAKING ME THE TARGET OF YOUR ABUSE
BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO AFRAID TO GO WITHIN
If you fear yourself
Best believe you fear me then!
SMH
Making human rights political
Okay
In no way is that sane
Let’s debate YOUR PRIVILEGE THEN!
See how you like being up for discussion
You think yourself powerful
For being the cause of another’s suffering
As if this is some kind of
Show of strength
Watching humanity dwindle away
The planet along with it
Why should I choose to be
Delusional enough to think
That a genocidal people
Can produce anything but suffering
The manufactured chaos and scarcity
Is not only obvious
But insane
Embracing it makes you what then?
Check your privilege
Your demands are more than any human
Is willing to put up with
Being privileged doesn’t make you special
Take a look around at civilization
YOU did this
Deflect on it?
No
REFELCT ON IT!
THINK!
Your actions reveal
Exactly what anyone that apathetic
Would be thinking
This is all more than a sane human
Is willing to take
As if liberty were something
A few men in white wigs
Conjured up from their imaginations
After abusing their slaves one day
GTFOH
Liberty is a birth right
For every living being
Any life form claiming
To have authority
To suppress it
For any reason
Is drunk with a peculiar kind of sickness
Call it what you like
I call it selfishness
Ego games
Plantation politics
The racism matrix
Breaking free is daunting
Not for the faint of heart
Most get caught in the rat race
Thinking that
Achieving ownership of property
Is protection
To an extent yes
But that’s only one pathway
Only the beginning
The true work
Begins there
Either you came here to be the difference
Or you came to exploit those choosing wholeness
Ultimately
No one wins as long as domination holds the reings
In place of balanced scales
Equity is the future
You can’t get around it
Pursuing a path of nihilism
Helps only those
Destroying the best of what was once
Human civilization
