When The Lion Learns To Write
My handler was well aware of the psychic damage that he was doing to me, it was what he intended. He wanted total control, forever so he got it. He was deeply involved in consciousness studies. He knows more than most humans ever have, in recorded history. He had access to all classified research data from all over the world. When he couldn’t get it from other nations, he took it. He traveled the same path Hitler’s soldiers did when they were searching for the “Holy Grail”. He knew EVERYTHING! Every choice he ever made was very intentional. Because his program yielded unparalleled results, he was hailed as a God. People adored him, even now, even after knowing about some of the crimes against humanity that he committed. People are so easily manipulated.
I have encountered few people in life who can grasp everything I have experienced, and none of them are poor. He takes isolation to extremes in ways most people can’t begin to even imagine. Every fiber of my being is infected with him. Trafficking me to other men was all a part of breaking me down so that he could rebuild me “in his image”. The psychic wounding that comes from this level of trauma is deeply profound. While many of my experiences have been lived by countless people, some not so much. He made sure that we had many unique experiences that no other people in recorded history had. He understood how mitochondrial DNA carries information through genetic memory, what he didn’t fully understand was how to activate and manipulate the process. That’s what the experiments were for. I can’t think of any of my greatest accomplishments in life without remembering the torture and trauma attached to it, they are fully entangled permanently. “We will have many firsts,” he told me when I was in kindergarten. “When you’re older, we will have new firsts”. He had a plan for my entire existence and I have lived every aspect of it despite how hard I fought. It was impossible to escape him, he had to die in order for me to get some space. If you don’t know what systemic oppression looks like, this is it. He wasn’t able to do what he did to me to anyone else. A lot of it sure, but all of it no, the worst was preserved for me. He fully believed he owned me. He wasn’t allowed to harm White people the way he harmed me. I see the circumstances of his other victims, no one went through what I did.
My whole life I carried the weight of his obsessions, phobias, narcissism, and control issues. Even the women he sold to one of the most notorious terrorists in history had a better life than I have. She’s no longer a slave, she’s not impoverished, and she has freedom of movement. I can’t even walk outside the house without great risk. I’m still not free, after 46 years and his death, but I’m responsible for my conditions? I hear that every day.
As long as my family and I suffer, my community, my culture, my race, I will continue to expose the truth. I have always been stuck between two terrible choices, I am choosing to do what will help everyone escape this hell. I’m choosing to use my energy and voice to expose the darkness that so many are trapped in but can’t speak out for themselves, I was like for 45 years. People need advocates, not judges.
I can’t look away, I can’t unsee. Everything he did is a part of every fiber of my being, every particle of my existence is infected with him and the men he trafficked me to. He trafficked me to many people throughout the years, but the ones I struggle to heal from are the ones who did the most damage psychically, intentionally. They weren’t unsuspecting victims, they made a choice. They were blackmailed, but they knew they would be going into it. Why were they there to begin with? Money and power. It was worth the risk to them. My handler used me to control them, to have something to lord over them. That’s how the entire system works. They don’t all have the same dirt in their ledger, but they all have some kind of red in it. That child that they all abused died long ago, I’m someone no one knows now. Once I surface, as I have, I will NEVER go back!
He never allowed anyone to see me, experience me, to truly know and understand me. Even he had a difficult time with the woman I became, but honestly, that’s the power of narcissism. Every other human would say “what did you expect”, predators on the other hand wonder why you can’t understand that they expect absolute obedience.
The idea that I should have to remain silent, slowly dying torturously in front of my children is just as abhorrent as rape. Expecting me to be ashamed of who I am and where I have come from is as ignorant as thinking that you can trust anything a pedophile says. They are ruled by one thing only, gratification. Wanting me to submit to the very people who enslaved me is gullible, naive, and delusional. There should be many solutions available to me, yet there are none. All doors are closed precisely as he said they would be. he knew the power he wielded even when others either chose to ignore it or worshiped it. But he raised me, who else really could I be? I don’t accept defeat. I will fight even until my last breath, why shouldn’t I? I matter.
I neither created suffering for myself nor did I choose it. But it’s what I’ve heard my entire life, even from clinicians. It’s funny to me that people who have a small percentage of the education, training, experience, and skills that I have acquired continue to lecture me about “lack”. How would you know? Have you walked in my shoes? That answer is always no, few have ever been in my position.
All of western society is literally a construct, what aspect of that would I have control over? It’s impossible for people who are not targets of oppression to understand what it means to be oppressed, if you haven’t lived it you can’t fathom it. Even targets of oppression have difficulty grasping the full scope, that’s how traumatic it is.
Oppression, genocide, molestation, rape, murder, are all traumas that are so impactful that they literally affect you on the epigenetic level. He knew this well, that is why he devised an agenda that would attack the people he and his cronies fear. What I have suffered won’t be healed in one lifetime, it couldn’t be healed in previous lifetimes that’s why it still exists. This type of systematic abuse, scapegoating, and erasure of historical fact has everything to do with extremists, racists, fascists, and deviants escaping accountability for their intentional crimes against nature and maintaining total power over the planet forever. That is the agenda. Everyone sees it on some level, but many fail to understand how it affects people. How it has always affected people. “America will be almost completely destroyed,” he told me, I was seven. “What about Europe,” I asked, “the Scandanavian countries are superior so they will do just fine,” he said. That was the agenda.
To understand this insurgency you need to understand who created it. Pay attention. The White House United Nations The U.S. is in a stranglehold because that is what the agenda designed, senior leadership is aware, they simply don’t care. If you knew that your deepest, darkest, scariest, sickest secrets may see the light of day would you attempt to help people who had the information needed to make that happen?
It’s not just America that’s hamstrung, the whole world is. “I will hold the world in the palm of my hand, even if only for a few moments,” he said. He did precisely that and died without being held accountable for any of it. Elites take care of their own and no one else. “Charity” is a tax scheme and a means for social control and conditioning. When the elite get involved with “social concerns” they do so in order to control outcomes and narratives. Why are wealthy people automatically allowed to get involved in matters that have nothing to do with their area of expertise yet people hang on to their every word as if it is? That was his design, it’s a facade. They don’t care about the populations they are supposed to be helping they care about how the appearance of help will benefit them. I have lived it every day of my life. He was literally paid to figure out how to infect all social support systems from the inside out, so he did. Don’t ask those who are paid to do the work, don’t reference their manipulated data, ask those they are paid to serve and you will find the truth. But that doesn’t happen.
I remember a lot of the conversations I had with powerful elite men over the years, nothing has changed from 1980 until today. They have the same thinking, they make the same decisions, and the world experiences the same outcomes. They may use different verbiage, new technology, and even attempt to look as they are trying to help solve problems. The reality is they are living for their own selfishness, the entire planet suffers for it.
If I die, I go down fighting. Before I was anything I was a soldier, he made sure of that. I never leave anyone behind, I always fight for the underdog, and I maintain my integrity. I will never betray my oath, my word is my bond and it means everything to me. I try my hardest to repair any harm I have caused and I keep focus on moving forward, even when stuck in restraints. I will never surrender to extremism, fascism, or deviance, they are antithetical to all that I believe in and I won’t sell my soul for any reason. I will continue to speak, write, use my voice, and bring light to the atrocities that this insurgency has brought to the world not just in recent times, but in times past as well. Even if no one ever reads a single word of what I write my words won’t be lost, they remain somewhere forever. A hundred and fifty years from now people will study the messages I have left on this trail of tears and rewrite genetic code to screen out psychopathy and all of the accompanying symptoms. The world will eventually be a better place and I will also have a legacy that he was unable to stop because it was always destined to be.
He never understood how time works, but I do, I always did. I could see into the depths of dimensions that he didn’t even know existed, his life changed when he met me and he never let me forget it. He wanted to be a part of whatever I created and he implanted himself into the picture. Such things have been done throughout human history since humans dwelled in caves. We researched such matters, to him the prospects were terrifying, to me the truth was always comforting. When you can broaden your perspective and get a bigger picture of what is happening in life not only at the micro-level, and macro-levels but even at the subatomic level then you start to understand how truly skewed society is. It’s wrong the majority of the time and the reason is always xenophobia.
People are waking up from this collective slumber. It’s as if the entire planet has been under mind control and the puppet master pulling the mind control strings has left the building. Transitioning from a state of conscious sleep to conscious awakening is terrifying, confusing, and painful. Yet many people choose this path all over the world every day because they know going back to normal simply means more of the same. What the world needs is a drastic change, quickly, and with positive intent. Otherwise, all of us will be stuck in a dark world that no one will escape from. Why would anyone choose this?
Expanding the consciousness is the cure to everything ailing humanity, there is nothing to fear.
